Charlene’s Question
This week’s question comes to us from Charlene who writes, “What was the biggest concept about love that you changed your mind about and what experiences led to that transformation?”
My Love Lesson Learned
There wasn’t a specific thing but there was a point when I was very young when I realized that love was not a fairy tale. It was not an easy happily ever after. Love, the maintenance of love and relationships was actually work. I had to do something to hold onto it. I had to be nice (this was a shocking concept at the time). You know, in your late teens, this idea is not an easy idea to master.
The point is that I had to work at love. Because I had relationships that didn’t work out, I had to look inward to explore what I wanted, how it was that I intended to get it, and more importantly once I got it, how was I going to maintain it.
So, when I wake up, I try think about how I can be of service to my wife because I love her and I want her to have a great day (this is also true of my fantastic kid and other people I will meet along the way). It is the goodness that comes out of a relationship when I act selflessly. It is not all that I do. I am not an altruistic altar boy but I try to remind myself that I picked this person for a reason.
I want to treat her kindly always. It is a cornerstone of our relationship because I want her to have what she wants. You know, sometime when you go outside the front door the world is not as giving. This is how I view love (This is also the basis of Kabbalah and it has worked for me and countless others). I am grateful for the transformation
Thanks Charlene for a great question.
And, of course, my free gift, Women Are Smarter Than Men: And Other Secrets Every Marriage-Minded Woman Needs to Know is available here, Get Badass Love Now.
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