This week, Kathy writes a whooper of a question. “What is true love?”
Yep, that is a big question. It is a question I will likely talk for a half an hour about in the near future. For the time being, I am going to say this. True love is about being unconditional.
When my daughter was tiny and crying in the shopping cart and I would be pushing her around. She would be crying about wanting some animal crackers or something. Sometimes, as much as I love my sweet pea, she would cry so much – even though I didn’t want to give her the crackers – I would give her the crackers. That is not unconditional love, she got the crackers so she would stop crying, and I could have some peace. When you are giving something in order to get something in return, it is not about love – really, it is a negotiation.
Unconditional love is about not worrying about the results. You will give this person what they want. In my love relationship, I want what my wife wants whether the results benefit me or not. The good news, is that most of what she wants is of benefit to me because it makes her happy. Of course, if this changes, my goal will still remain the same, I want her to be happy.
If you are having questions about love, I would ask you what are your motivations are? Why are you loving this person? If you love them, and you want them to be happy, and not merely looking to get love in return that how you where true love is. A buddy of mine Dave says, “Love is an action, and that action is service.” This is what I believe and try to bring into all of my relationships.
True love is unconditional. It means you want what they want, whether it serve you or not. True love also reveals the most divinity, happiness, cosmic hope, or Light of God. It is, according to Kabbalists, does the world the most good. And yes, it is something we should all be striving for.
And, of course, my free gift, Women Are Smarter Than Men: And Other Secrets Every Marriage-Minded Woman Needs to Know is available here, Get Badass Love Now.