I know it says FAQ but it is also a bit of SAQ (Should Ask Questions). If you still have questions, feel free to use the contact form at the bottom and I will get back with you soon. And if your questions really hits home I will include it here, in my FAQ/SAQ section.
Why do I want you as a relationship coach?
For the past 20 years I have studied and taught Kabbalah, Qabala and the Tree of Life. I have reinvented myself numerous times, from poker shark to antique dealer, big budget assistant movie editor (for Miramax) and house builder, publisher and editor of five travel sites, freelancer for trade and consumer magazines and sites (including the Huffington Post, Turkish Airlines in-flight and technorati), traveled to more than 80 countries, married the same women in 12 of them on our way to 100… and I have been knighted. Most importantly, I understand the spiritual path of love and happiness, and how to navigate life’s challenges that money and fame will never solve.
How Will I Benefit?
My insights are not ordinary. Listeners will receive a no-bullshit approach to problem solving and living the richest life possible.
What Is Your Goal as a Coach?
Helping marriage-minded men and women find lasting love through the use of Kabbalah and the Tree of Life. I look to find spiritual solutions – this means it’s an inside job.
What is Emotional Sobriety?
I believe that we all have a personal integrity given to us, in our DNA perhaps. Sort of personal lines in the sand that tells us what is right and wrong for us as individuals – and everyone’s is different. When we stay within these parameters we are likely going to be content, fearless, and happy. The problem is that most people’s lives are conditioned take action toward money, attractiveness or other justifications. Listen, cheeseburgers are delicious, money is useful and being beautiful may open doors.
I just know after making a ton of money playing cards in my twenties, the money – lots of it — never cured me or hundreds of people I have met and worked with.
After mentoring addicts over the last 18 years or so, some of these lines in the sand are life and death issues. Pain causing issues. Derailing issues. We end up taking actions that doesn’t serve us and moves us away from ourselves and we don’t feel content. I have known tons of people who have this sense of lack, loss of purpose and direction.
There is a Kabbalistic principle, which suggests that doing the opposite of what you want to do. If you are hungry, it does not mean don’t eat.
This is why I think is it so important to work with a coach – this is a word I am still getting used to. Really what it means is having a support network of people in your life that is not emotionally attached to your nonsense. Here’s the thing, when I don’t talk about what is going on with me to other people. When I don’t express my concerns out loud, the bad ideas I have start sounding like genius. It could be, I know that cigarettes are bad for me but I am going to smoke a million of them anyway. I know this crack cocaine is a bad idea but I think I can do it just this once and everything will be fine. I know I should look for a job but Internet porn is so emotionally satisfying. I call this crazy town. And in case you haven’t figured it out, crazy town is the opposite of emotional sobriety. Just because you take away the alcohol from the alcoholicic doesn’t mean they stop being an alcoholic. There has to be something that replaces booze as a coping mechanism.
And while it may not be life or death, if you are in pain, fear discomfort, not taking the prioritized actions you want to lead your best life then you are likely putting things in between you and your best life.
Why are you a coach, Devin?
Honestly, I love coaching/mentoring, whatever you would like to call it. To be quite honest, I have been coaching unofficially for years, without pay for years. It was only recently when my wife said I should get paid. One of the reasons I like it so much is because I get so much out of it. When a client attains goals and changes it is always clear to me. Sometimes, it is my job to remind them how far they have come: better relationships, love, family, sobriety, happiness, career. How have my clients done? Well there have been two kinds of clients. I have worked with addicts for many years, about 18 years to be exact. Truth is, the more pain one feels the more they have invested in change. For addicts it is life and death. The motivation is real the results crucial. I have also worked with other where they want to change but do not want to be inconvenienced by trying something new. If this is you, save your money.
Why do I need a coach?
Everyone needs coaching. It is always much easier to see someone else’s problems (and solutions) when you’re not connecting to the results. I lovingly refer to this as “nonsense.” My coaches are not invested in my nonsense (i.e. eating Twizzlers for breakfast. While Twizzlers might not sound like a big deal there are problems great and small that feel insurmountable. While this could be just a shoulder to cry on, coaching is most useful when there is a challenging solution that’s needed.
I'm Ready for Love! What's Next?
It’s easy to get started with me. Just got to My Assessment and fill out the questions and we will talk about coaching and relationships. This is FREE 30-Minutes assessment.