This is Devin the Romantic travel back again.
You know each week I shoot for 12 noon to live, and not just yet. I am working on it.
I am a work in progress. it’s about 12:18 and two seconds. So I’m closing on it. Progress, you know, here we come.
So I am this couple things there’s going on. We have our first group for the Mystical Solutions for Modern Love that’s happening now. So I am excited about that. It’s going to be starting tomorrow. I’m going to share a little bit of my experience, around, near Iceland, which was a significant turning point in my life.
First, we’re going to talk about this week’s question which comes to us from Anna who writes, Does it happen often in a relationship that we are in fear but unconscious of this fear. So that your partner acts out his own fear as if to awaken you your underlying problem.
But if you are not very aware you get drawn into his fears which results in even bigger problems within the relationship? How do you stay conscious all the time because in relationship we tend to become relaxed and easygoing?
Thank you so much, Anna, that was of words, but it’s a hard question actually. I think what relationships ideally about being service to the other person. I think we do that consciously and unconsciously.
When we do it consciously, we do it as love being an act of service. That means we support them and do what they want whether it serves us particularly or not. Theoretically we do this with love in our hearts, whether it serves us individually or not. That’s the goal but the ultimately, the point is that relationships act as a mirror to each other.
I can tell you the that things I see in my lovely, love wife, things that get under my skin are as much my reaction to her stuff than anything. To answer your question, I think we are mirrors to each other’s fear. Sometimes when we are conscious, we some else’s fear as a lesson to learn from that I don’t have to replicate in my own life, or do this to my partner.
At the same time if I’m unknowing of it yes just create a cycle of bigger and bigger problems.
There is a Kabbalaistic principle of restriction, limitation, which suggests we should pull back fro our reaction to take conscious proactive positions on all of the stuff that life deals us.
To say it in a better way, and I am hoping I an going to say it in a better way, when someone does something to us that we don’t like, the goal is to learn from it and react to it in a less reactive way – as in pulling our hands away from a hot flame. But rather remaining conscious and being service to that moment.
Our best opportunities to take advantage for those moments are in our personal, one-to-one relationships. So thank you, Anna, for that great question.
And now onto Iceland! [I am working on the transcriptions so I should have a better system in place in the future. Until then, enjoy the video about Iceland starting at 4:17.]