Happy New Years almost,
This is the Romantic Traveler (TheRomanticTraveler.tv coming soon), Devin. This is an exciting new start for me. I had been working with several names with the most recent being “Relationship Magic”, which to be totally honest with you is a totally great name.
The only problem was when I searched it I found a woman with a tiny top hat, kind of like Abraham Lincoln, and what appears to be glitter. The more I thought about it, it make total sense for her, probably less so for me. And she started using Relationship Magic first.
So, this means the Romantic Traveler is born. While I have been talking about love and relationships for a while now, when I thought about what the Romantic Traveler means to me I thought about my passions: love and relationships, better love and relationships, as well as travel – which is a big part of my story. Moreover, the romantic traveler harkens the idea of self-exploration – and loving it!
So, I am giving myself a little wider of a net of things to talk about here, but more importantly it gives me opportunity to talk to incredible teachers, people I know in the travel industry, some incredible destinations. I can talk to relationship coaches, and others who will hopefully offer you as much as I have gotten out of them. All is this is coming in the near future and it’s really exciting.
I have one more big announcement at the end of the show today but first this week’s question. This week, June writes to us and asks, “How do we stop getting the signals mixed up? Sex does not mean love as most of us women want to believe. What is evidence of true, authentic, real love?”
Thank you so much, June. Great question. I think sex tends to mean more than what we think it does, especially when we don’t treat as something that’s important (I mean this mostly in a societal way) or sacred. That’s a much bigger topic for another day.
I’m in love! And then they paint a picture of passion and fire, of ripping clothes and flying buttons, and all that stuff is totally great. However, very seldom – even in legend – have I heard relationships based upon this passion hold up for the long term, which is what I really care about. My goal is to point out our ability to have lasting love affairs with the same person over an extended period of time.
So, instead of the fiery passion we see in romantic comedies where someone is climbing up a drainpipe to get at each other, real love is not as flashy or all encompassing.
A good test to see if you are in love is if you want to be kind, of service and compassionate to the other person, which is what I really think it comes down to. When you see someone putting your needs first. Someone who is on your team over a period of time and it’s obvious and they are considerate of your imperfections. If you are in a long-term relationship – married or otherwise – you are creating a union with the other person’s foibles, their nonsense – and we all have some nonsense, irrational fears, some baggage, some history, things that frighten and confuse us. So, how can we handle someone else’s stuff and still treat them well. That’s what you want for a long-term, lasting relationship.
So, don’t look for the giant skyrockets and fireworks. I would not look for gigantic craziness, although it’s fun. You can still find that with the person you find yourself with. Ultimately, look for kindness, certainty and consistency.
And now for the big announcement! My fantastic wife has challenged me to put my best stuff into a package. It will be a live calls. Basically six weeks of experience boiled down just for you. And in two days, I will be following up with all the details. I think its going to be an awful lot of fun.